Back.
So things had finally settled down.
went back to pl today.
Saw our fellow friends and teachers.
Somehow i just feel that ny and pl are like two different environments?
PL is filled with love and happy faces.
Ny is just a school to study, in anyway you want.
So that we would do well in everything, cca and studies.
And Seniors forcing us to do well.
To do wad they did?
But wad are all these for?
So that we will not regret in future?
So that in future when we think about our JC life,
We will know wad we had Achieved and wad things we have done that made ourselves proud.
Is it really a school life that we want?
Not for me.
I had never laughed so much in ny,
No hundred percent happy in ny,
I've never felt loved by the teachers in ny,
Nothing that motivates me to go school everyday other than taking my attendance.
I guess i've left pl's shelting walls.
And enter into the real world filled with practicalities.
No more inner beauty, only looks.
No more teamwork, only oneselve's glory.
Sometimes i just lose the motivation in life.
Why am i studying things that i detest everyday,
Why am i doing things just to plead the rest.
Somehow i've just lost my confidence in everything i'm doing.
Including the sport that i once loved.
I guess these are the values instilled into us in ny.
And I just miss pl and my loving teachers.

But this song kind of cheered my up.
Making me face reality,
Strive to the end.

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Mariah carey- hero

9:40 AM

Okay cool.
Was in ws's house and she kind of showed me my wonderful blog.
Lagging abit.
So i decided to start blogging again.
Had my wonderful day,
decided to chill in ws's house.
talked to ws.
Sigh
Wad do i really want?
if i dun have any feelings, i wont feel so damm upset throughout the day
Well, the answer is simply,
I still like you although you claim i dun.
Ws ask me to think about it and make the right choice.
But wad is the RIGHT choice.
So wad if i sit down and think about wad i really want,
Will it happen again?
Will things end up like that AGAIN?
Well, i guess not.
Who knows if the choice i made was RIGHT or WRONG?
So my decision for today is to just let things be.
If things were meant to be this way, so be it.
And pls,
I had never wanted to led anyone on,
Never want to toy with anyone's feelings
And never intend to hurt anybody.
You just dun understand wad i really want.
Everything is just a right OR wrong.
Why can it be a right AND wrong.
Well, I know i'm at fault.
but i dun blame anyone for all this misery,
because i started it.
I've never felt so freaking confused.
Never made such decisions at all.
Oh! and Yes, i'm contradicting myself.
I always do.
No one is perfect.

And i guess some people just cannot understand how i am feeling now
Being sensitive and all.
Stop asking me.
I'm hurt too.
But i dun blame them.
I myself dun understand myself too!
So maybe i'll just let things settle down
and see wad comes around.

Oh!
And lastly: i really hope that you'll concentrate on your studies and really get promoted yea? =)

Btw,
Thanks buddy.
How i wish everyone understand me like you do=)

6:04 AM